HEALING FROM CHILDHOOD ABUSE

Healing is not a linear process.It has its ups and downs.When you first start to heal it can be easy to feel you have finally got there. But life is not like that. You never actually get there. You just arent so wounded.What I will say is that you become more real. More authentic.A person who is healing from abuse is honestly working on themselves.In society its easy to pretend that we are all happy.So we try to live up to it. Nothing lasts neither sadness or happiness.Your healing process is a gift to mankind and society in general.When I stopped having flashbacks to childhood events two things happened. First I sort of missed it it had become facinating. Secondly I was relieved that no longer would I have to keep going back. Eventually the door of my memories of childhood sexual abuse closed.Its as if it no longer is there in form. I dont need to go back.My healing now is ona more subtle level. I have to deal with the way the abuse affected me in the way I deal within the world.I cant believe how well I did looking back, as my life has been successful in a lot of ways.I am also healing on a more spiritual level.I am healing because I was also Ritualy Abused. But thats another story and one that I dont care to ever talk about openly.I hope that you get something from my posts. Thats why Im writing them. So that you who are reading may discover the reason why you feel so wrong, sad, bad, unhappy, ill, mad,neurotic..Its called post traumatic distress.I know because I had it and until I started my journey of healing I thought it was normal.
I am about to go on an 8 month closed retreat so will not be posting again until December. Feel free to leave any comments and I will answer them on my return.

THE BEGINNING OF THE JOURNEY

Did you ever feel that you were going mad but knew you werent? Do you wonder why your insides feel like they are bursting out of your skin?Why you see the world differently to others. Spiritual emergence is not well known. Because of this many people who start to feel sad or depressed or downright crazy are labeled as mentaly unwell. They may be. But they may also be having a spiritual emergence and there will be no one to pick up the pieces or even understand what is happening to them.Sometimes it turns into a spiritual emergency which can lead to drug or alcohol abuse and many other extremes.
When it happened to me I dont know why but I trusted the process.Even though everything inside and the people outside thought I was going crazy. I started to have flashbacks to my childhood. I add that I was not in therapy at the time. It could happen anywhere anytime. But I kept on working and led my life as it was. But in fact it was all falling apart.Somewhere in my mind I knew I was spiritualy emerging. I cant explain it.
My whole life opened up. I remembered my birth and also before that.I wondered about discussing this at first but I feel that it may help anyone who feels that they may be experiencing similar things. It happened a long time ago and I have survived it.
Although I knew something extraordinary was happening it wasnt until I read Spiritual Emergence that it confirmed it.
I will try to write a bit more on this subject as I go along.But I am not an expert. I am only writing from my own perspective.