Healing is not a linear process.It has its ups and downs.When you first start to heal it can be easy to feel you have finally got there. But life is not like that. You never actually get there. You just arent so wounded.What I will say is that you become more real. More authentic.A person who is healing from abuse is honestly working on themselves.In society its easy to pretend that we are all happy.So we try to live up to it. Nothing lasts neither sadness or happiness.Your healing process is a gift to mankind and society in general.When I stopped having flashbacks to childhood events two things happened. First I sort of missed it it had become facinating. Secondly I was relieved that no longer would I have to keep going back. Eventually the door of my memories of childhood sexual abuse closed.Its as if it no longer is there in form. I dont need to go back.My healing now is ona more subtle level. I have to deal with the way the abuse affected me in the way I deal within the world.I cant believe how well I did looking back, as my life has been successful in a lot of ways.I am also healing on a more spiritual level.I am healing because I was also Ritualy Abused. But thats another story and one that I dont care to ever talk about openly.I hope that you get something from my posts. Thats why Im writing them. So that you who are reading may discover the reason why you feel so wrong, sad, bad, unhappy, ill, mad,neurotic..Its called post traumatic distress.I know because I had it and until I started my journey of healing I thought it was normal.
I am about to go on an 8 month closed retreat so will not be posting again until December. Feel free to leave any comments and I will answer them on my return.
